32

ode to my wanting to get tattoodled again asap. 

31

ode to that summer feeling

30

I took my lucky break and I broke it in two
Put on my worried shoes
My worried shoes
And my shoes took me so many miles and they never wore out
My worried shoes
My worried shoes
oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo
My worried shoes
I made a mistake and I never forgot
I tied knots in the laces of
My worried shoes
And with every step that I'd take was another mistake
As I marched further and further away
In my worried shoes
oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo
My worried shoes
And my shoes took me down a crooked path
Away from all welcome mats
My worried shoes
And then one day I looked around and I found the sun shining down
And I took off my worried shoes
And the feet broke free
I didn't need to wear
Then I knew the difference between worrying and caring
'Cause I've got a lot of walking to do
And I don't want to wear
My worried shoes

Daniel Johnston

29

nice things are on the horizon. roughly 2 months ago i thought i had lost all sense of direction. and i was so wrong. life rules. i'm grateful for every second i get to know that life rules and take advantage. fuck all the drama, fuck all the tears, fuck all the heartbreak, but most of all, FUCK THE HATERZ. i've come away from this with a real grasp on who i want in my life and who i don't and that RULES. SO HARD. tonight is let go! at the lockerbie, stoked on that. also stoked on friday. for reasons that i will not solicit here. life is so nice. it's nice to be nice and get niced and nice other people that i love and are the heart of me, through and through.

28

I don't feel good. I don't feel incredibly happy. I don't feel miserable. I don't feel mad. I don't feel let down. I don't feel discouraged. I don't feel unwanted. I don't feel unloved. I don't feel unimportant.


I feel like myself.

I feel alright.

I feel like I'm on the right track.

I feel good about this.

27

I guess I just don't see the point in being so fucking nasty about all this. It's bad enough without him getting angry every time we talk.

I don't know what else I'm supposed to do. I said my piece. I've owned up to my faults in this and I've taken responsibility for the things that were mine to take responsibility for. I've lain my heart out on the table every time I got the chance. I've made it perfectly clear that this can be overcome if he would just try also.

I'm broken...and I will be for awhile, with or without him, and I know that. I'm getting back down to the heart of me, though.

I've even started writing again. By writing, I don't mean blogging. I mean actual writing. It feels good.

26

The past week has been a blur and somehow, I remember every single painstaking moment of it. I've lost my sense of direction, if I ever had one, and I'm desperately trying to find it again. I promised I wouldn't hurt him...I promised I'd love him through and through and I didn't keep that promise. There's nothing in the world I want more than to be back in his arms right now...telling him how sorry I am and how much I love him and proving to him that we can be all that we thought we would in the beginning. I'd give anything for that.