i'm holding all the tickets

some things just evoke a feeling....any feeling. the good, the bad, the ugly, the unsure, the certain, the regret, the hope, the best, the worst, and all that lies in between.

standing in the vogue last night, i was annoyed. i was mad that the guy in front of me had a head like that of frankenstein. i was mad that my mother didn't end up coming with me. i was mad. i was excited, so fucking excited. i had such high expectations and knew that somehow they would be met fully. and finally, finally, the lights dimmed. i couldn't stand the anticipation. then i see the three guys that would evoke from me every emotion i ever knew existed, and more! they don't look like much. just three guys you might turn your nose up at in the grocery store. and what they did next...i don't think i'll ever forget. they played the most exceptional live show i have ever witnessed. and it made me grateful for them, and sad that i didn't have what they did. they had passion in their eyes, their voices, the looks on their faces said "i am exactly what i want to be, and you can take it or leave it". the drummer was in the middle. the bass drum so loud, so earth shattering, i could feel the fabric of my jeans vibrating to its beat. i could have cried. this music was about something. i had no idea what, but i wanted to call a piece of it mine. i wanted to know the feeling they had. each note was somehow tangible. i could feel it, i could see it, and i could smell the essence of something real. i stood in absolute awe. all disappeared but the stage and the unsettling shiver erupting around me, and i was left alone in a room with every good deed, every mistake, every regret, i have ever committed. there were moments that i felt so susceptible, so inside out, that i was sure everyone could see right through me. everyone knew...everything i didn't want them to know.

i've been waiting for this moment. last night at roughly 10:30, i felt the music. i felt it so deeply that i don't think i left the building the same as i had came into it.