correction:not mind fucked at all.

i'm fine. i'm fine. i'm fine. and i'm not worried anymore.

so moving the hell on...

bday is coming up...not sure how i feel about this. i'll be 22,afterall, and most everyone i graduated with is getting done with college right now. i can't help but feel a little inadequate. what have i even done since high school?? nothing, would be a good answer. i'm ok with it because i've done alot of growing up and had alot of experiences that i would not have had otherwise. Ps-i can't see myself living the 4 year college dream anyway. fuck that noise.

i'm good. i'm good. i'm good. and i'm gonna stay this way.

tomorrow is the last day of my seven on, then i'm off from thursday to next wednesday. levi is taking ev thursday...i'm glad he's doing this every week. also thursday i will be hanging out with noel. not sure what else. friday my agenda is open at this point. saturday will be getting devoted to getting my diamond fixed...i'm hoping donnie is able to make it look nice. instead of like complete and total shit. sunday will be so good-hell city with brandon. am stoked on this. and of course staring at kat von d's tatties (and by tatties i mean tattoos AND tits). should be really fun. monday is still up in the air, as is tuesday. and wednesday is the big 22! no plans for that yet either but i'm sure something will come about that will make for the perfect birthday. i'm holding tight to that hope anyway.

i really want a kitty. like really really bad. i don't need one. i just want.

after i get this diamond fixed, the real work on my arm will begin. a compass for my dad because he just never seemed to find his way back to me. a life preserver with my mommabears name on it b/c that bitch keeps me alive...more than i'd like to admit. and then this nice idea brandon lent to me. panther with long eyelashes and bright red lipstick, very feminine. will be holding an umbrella in her mouth...all the while rain is falling on her head. she's got the resources...just not sure how to use them to accomplish the goal, always mistaking the obvious solution for a lesser affective one...to get out of the rain. i love it.

i've said it before...and i'm going to keep on saying it. life is great. i'm genuinely happy...i can't ask for much more than that and i'm not going to bother with what if's and worrying about how long it's going to last. none of that matters. i'm living in the now and the now is the best it has been in a really long time.

looking forward to camping trips, bday celebrations!, friends, summer parties, cookouts, getting back in touch with mi familia, watching ev grow into the little man he's meant to be, teaching him to be kind and understanding and giving him the knowledge that pride is important...he just can't have too much of it, wine nights with tiff!, learning to play pool again, beating brandon at pool all day everday-will happen-mark my words, tattoos!, night walks, bonfires, shows, being happy!, and so much more.

dear summer 08,
you look promising thus far. please don't disapoint.
love,
kj