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i'm not happy. i am never happy. nothing is ever enough and i can't figure it out. i have a perfectly good thing going. and in true form, i am sabotaging it...for no apparent reason. why do i always try to talk myself into thinking something is too good to be true? my friend posted this quote the other day...something about how we accept the love we think we deserve. i'm starting to think that's what i'm doing. but maybe this love he gives me is far more than i deserve. he's really good to me...and i'm going to fuck it up by being a self-centered asshole. i haven't taken my medicine regularly in a couple of weeks. i think it's fucking with my head.

i'm falling to peices and i don't know why. where is the voice of reason i need? where is the guiding light i am seeking out?

i need a break.