25

I thought I wanted this...I thought I would be okay with it...I thought this was the best thing. But I was wrong. I can't catch my breath. I can't hold in the tears. And I have zero control over what happens. I'm trying my hardest but it may be too little too late and that crushes me the most...this could have been prevented...this could have been avoided. It never had to happen. And now that it has...I'm at a loss for what to do to prove that I can fix it. I know I can fix it. The question is whether or not I will get the chance. All I need is one chance. I hope against hope that I am lucky enough to get it. It feels like I'm just surviving and have been just doing that for months...and I'm tired of that. I want to live again. And there is only person I want to do that with. I never gave him the credit he deserved...or the recognition...or the adoration. Life won't be the same without him if he chooses to go. I love him...and I never told him how much.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry