junctures

I woke this morning to a cold breeze. I leave my window open constantly because the upstairs of my apartment feels like I'm sleeping in hell. So this morning was pleasent. Everett let me sleep until 9:30. That is unheard of. The gears of my mind began turning almost immediately. I spent my morning trying to justify the last two years of my life. The fact remains that I just can't. There is no justification for all that time lost. I wasn't happy. I wasn't myself. I didn't have friends. I was lonely. I lived in fear of what would happen if I listened to my intuition and left. I was so scared. I'm remember sitting at home alone thinking about all the time I was wasting, just giving away to someone that didn't deserve it, someone that took it, me, for granted. Fast forward. My life is amazing. I surround myself with people that I love, people that put me in a good mood, people that are ok with me being me. I've never been so happy. The moment I realized it I could have cried but I just laughed instead. I've finally come to that juncture in life where you are forced to look at who you are and who you want to be. I'm exactly who I want to be. I've realized that I dont need dudes to complete me. For the first time in my life I'm ok with myself, and I'm not doing anything for any other reason than it makes me happy. I'm done giving pieces of myself away to everyone until there's no sign of me left. I'm going to love those that deserve it and help those that need it. I'm back to the heart of me and I'm never looking back.

Today is the beginning of a new me.